Blaming Never Helps, Understand it!

-
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you do not blame the lettuce. You look into reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer or more water or even less sun. You never blame the lettuce.

Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is the experience.

No blame, no reasoning, just understanding. If you understand and you show that you understand, you can love and the situation will definitely change.

Understanding

Understanding and love are not two things, but just one. Suppose your son wakes up in the morning and sees that it is already quite late, he decides to wake up his younger sister in order to give her enough time to take her breakfast before going to school.

It happens that she is grouchy and instead of saying "thank you for waking me up", she replies, "shut up and leave me alone" and then kicks him away. He will probably get angry, thinking "I woke her up nicely, why did she kick me?" He may want to go to the kitchen and tell his dad or mum about this or even kick her back.

But then he remembers that during the night his sister coughed a lot and he realizes that she must be sick. Maybe she behaved so meanly because she has a cold. At that moment, he understands and he is not angry at all anymore.

When you understand, you cannot help but love. You cannot get angry. To develop understanding, you have to practice looking at all living beings with the eyes of compassion. When you understand, you cannot help but to love. And when you love, you naturally act in a way that can relieve the suffering of people.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sanghika Dana (Charity meant for the order of the Sangha)

-
The Pali word of Sanghika Dana means offering alms and other requisites to the Order of the Sangha. Supposed you donate one dollar to an association, all members rich or poor are entitled to that one dollar. Similarly, if a bowl of alms food or a set of robes is offered to the Sangha, then all members of the order are entitled to those offertories. You need not go around the world to give alms to the Sangha Order. An offer to any member of the Sangha in general will automatically amount to Sanghika Dana. All members are entitled to such offertories. They can share it between them. How to project one's goodwill? In offering Sanghika Dana, a donor's mind must be directed to the Order of the Sangha in general. Even though you utter Samghassa demi , I offer it to the Order of Sangha, if you have in mind a particular monk or a particular monastery, your charity cannot be Sanghika Dana. Offering alms food to any monk on daily alms-round or to a certain monk designated by the Order of...
Read more

Meaning of Kathina

-
Image
In the commentary to the Kathinakkhandaka (Section on Kathina) of the Vinaya Pitaka, kathina is defined as a concept of conglomeration which means bringing things together. It is a concept that arises because of certain things that come together. For example: A Bhikkhu/s (Buddhist monk/s) who has/have spent the first vassa; A Sangha (Community of Bhikkhus) comprising at least five bhikkhus; Robe season (the Kathina month) - first month after the end of the first vassa i.e. final month of the rainy season; A rightfully acquired robe - the robe to be donated must not be requested by a member of the Sangha, nor must any hint be given for the robe to be offered, rather the robe must be offered spontaneously by the donor. These are some criterias that come together for the concept of kathina to arise. In fact, two meanings of kathina are given in the Vinaya Commentaries: A frame used during the Buddha's time for sewing double layered robes together. The edges of one robe were fixed to...
Read more

Sammaditthi Meditation Grove, Sungai Petani, Kedah

-
Image
I had recently visited the Sammaditthi Meditation Grove (SMG) situated at Lot 617, Tanah Kubur Cina, Sungai Pasir, 08000 Sungai Petani, Kedah. SMG is the latest Buddhist centre of Theravada tradition to be constructed in Sungai Petani. The construction of its Sima Hall had almost completed, kutis (monk's huts) are also been constructed to accommodate the resident and visiting members of the Sangha. Their daily activities include morning pujas, followed by breakfast and lunch danas, where devotees are encouraged to perform their meritorious deeds. Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu.
Read more